tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6086062096420008519.post2142158845208138635..comments2024-03-06T05:24:11.328-05:00Comments on Kelly Hashway: Parental Supervision?Kelly Hashwayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13936313159809041986noreply@blogger.comBlogger65125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6086062096420008519.post-67191831423786693042012-06-16T19:14:58.601-04:002012-06-16T19:14:58.601-04:00Thanks for following!
I'll have to check out ...Thanks for following!<br /><br />I'll have to check out the Drake Chronicles. Thanks for the suggestion. :)Kelly Hashwayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13936313159809041986noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6086062096420008519.post-9338609646814785182012-06-16T19:13:02.361-04:002012-06-16T19:13:02.361-04:00My favorite series at the moment is the Drake Chro...My favorite series at the moment is the Drake Chronicles- parents are extremely involved in all of the books so far.<br /><br />Thanks for the follow! I am now following you too as Sommer!Angela ReadingCavehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18289853710967359653noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6086062096420008519.post-44230710810464934482012-06-15T13:58:32.345-04:002012-06-15T13:58:32.345-04:00Hmm, so you write almost the opposite of your expe...Hmm, so you write almost the opposite of your experience. Interesting.Kelly Hashwayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13936313159809041986noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6086062096420008519.post-23017545610270891732012-06-15T13:35:14.661-04:002012-06-15T13:35:14.661-04:00I'm writing in the adult genre, so it's di...I'm writing in the adult genre, so it's different for my work. In the collaborative work I'm doing, the character whose POV I write is in his mid-thirties, and lost both of his parents when he was eighteen because of a drunk driver.<br /><br />The characters in my solo work have parental issues themselves: my male lead is also an orphan, but in his mid twenties. My female lead has a widowed mother, with a relationship that's strained.<br /><br />Oddly, my relationship with my parents is good.William Kendallhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00331324250821836822noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6086062096420008519.post-42479627237241684322012-06-15T06:45:34.390-04:002012-06-15T06:45:34.390-04:00Very interesting, Fi. You don't have to answer...Very interesting, Fi. You don't have to answer this, but I'm wondering if that mirrors your upbringing. I'm trying to figure out how our own situations impact the portrayal of parents in our novels.Kelly Hashwayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13936313159809041986noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6086062096420008519.post-85565781681531963112012-06-15T06:44:39.157-04:002012-06-15T06:44:39.157-04:00Very true! We kind of have to get the parents out ...Very true! We kind of have to get the parents out of the way to allow our MCs to go through the trials we need them to go through. :) Glad you liked the post.Kelly Hashwayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13936313159809041986noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6086062096420008519.post-34494241462137187302012-06-15T05:01:26.451-04:002012-06-15T05:01:26.451-04:00This is an interesting issue. While I don't wr...This is an interesting issue. While I don't write YA, my current adult readership work in progress features a single mum and the children's book that I'll be looking at again later this year features a widowed father.Fihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01321354657419642710noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6086062096420008519.post-23098254178520769462012-06-14T21:55:02.571-04:002012-06-14T21:55:02.571-04:00This is such a good post for a lot of reasons. Wh...This is such a good post for a lot of reasons. While my parents were very involved in my teen years, I tend to write manuscripts where the parents are not as invovled. I think the main issue is more that the circumstances I often want my characters to encounter simply couldn't happen with parents hovering around. Awesome post.Lindsay N. Curriehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16347055390748782853noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6086062096420008519.post-3486447245650036762012-06-14T19:59:59.648-04:002012-06-14T19:59:59.648-04:00Interesting. Sounds like you are tying the parents...Interesting. Sounds like you are tying the parents into the story. I like it.Kelly Hashwayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13936313159809041986noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6086062096420008519.post-89358753764343058772012-06-14T19:23:27.646-04:002012-06-14T19:23:27.646-04:00In my first two books there basically wasn't a...In my first two books there basically wasn't any parents involved...they were adult mystery/suspense. But the book I'm out-ling now is YA and it focuses on two separate families...both of which are dysfunctional. One centers around a single mom who's spent time in a mental facility, and the other a couple who are both on their second marriage.DL Hammonshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02007260062331783715noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6086062096420008519.post-29574775831628828092012-06-14T15:59:43.874-04:002012-06-14T15:59:43.874-04:00Thanks Kelly. So do I. I try to stay positive, but...Thanks Kelly. So do I. I try to stay positive, but it's not like this is a new problem, this has been ongoing, and I at lest now see no way out.Taurean Watkinshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16604609379930060667noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6086062096420008519.post-17850857883240465102012-06-14T14:29:03.655-04:002012-06-14T14:29:03.655-04:00Taurean, I don't feel ashamed. I just wish oth...Taurean, I don't feel ashamed. I just wish others would've had the same experience. I'm so grateful for it. And I'm grateful for my relationship with my daughter. I can't imagine it any other way. ou, in my writing I have to. I have to imagine what others go through.<br /><br />I'm sorry you didn't have the same loving upbringing, Taurean. I hope things get better between you and your grandmother.Kelly Hashwayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13936313159809041986noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6086062096420008519.post-58859218432171149292012-06-14T13:55:35.708-04:002012-06-14T13:55:35.708-04:00Maybe part of the problem is that teens in particu...Maybe part of the problem is that teens in particular want some of the same things their parents do, but both are too stubborn and embarrassed to admit it.<br /><br />Yes, everyone at some points wants to be their own person, not in their parent's shadow, and obviously <br />most parents want to their children to be independent and not need them for everything, but these same parents, who often make cruel-sounding(However true) jokes about how they just can't wait until they can be more hands-off. Yet they give their teens little if any freedom to make their own decisions about even the most basic things.<br /><br />How's that helpful to you or them?<br /><br />Teens on the other hand, may not want (or frankly NEED) constant coddling, yet that doesn't mean they don't need love and attention, it's just not needed the same way as little kids, which in this context are kids under 12. <br /><br />I think some parents don't always see that, this especially seems to be touchy in mother-son relationships, as in the case with me and my grandma, my mother lives with us, but she wasn't an active parent due to her own problems, yet her bossy and insensitive nature towards my grandma (Her mother) is becoming harder to live with.<br /><br />If money was not an issue (but it sadly is) I'd have moved out, because it's hard to maintain any positive outlook when my mother's brand of attitude is everywhere and nowhere.<br /><br />Plus, my grandma and I are just growing apart, and as I said above, it's hard to live with someone who you have nothing in common with, and nothing you say or do can fix it. With all the family you live with is your exact opposite, you often wonder what's good about you since no one in your space seems to see it.<br /><br />That's why I'm grateful I met Kelly and Terrie (A mutual friend of ours) they see the good about me that others around me find more an annoyance, but out of respect try to edure, and vice versa. <br /><br />There are good things about how practical my grandma is, but it's hard to relate to someone who frankly has lived her life in "Have tos" for so long, she can't grasp any "Want tos" it's like she has responsibility drilled so harshly into her head, anything she wants versus needs feels like being a skiddish foreigner in a strange land.<br /><br />I better get why now than when I was youger, but it's still hard to live with, but also to watch, because she's suffered to, and now she thinks it's "Too late" and envies "My youth", like a writer told me recently, and it's not always an advantage being youthful, because it seems people value experience FAR more than youth in many respects today. <br /><br />My grandma's in her 60s, my mother's turning 50 (Yet she still acts like a demonic three year old) and I'm 25 now, and you know what? <br /><br />I feel just as trapped and lost as my grandma. <br /><br />I may have youth on my side, but she has money, freedom and options I don't, and I'm more at her mercy and good fortune than I feel is normal.<br /><br />I guess that's why people over 30 on average think I have a chip on my shoulder, because they think my "youth and potential" can overcome anything, yet that's not been my experience at all.<br /><br />Sorry to be a downer, Kelly, but I hope you also feel less "ashamed" because you had good parents.<br /><br />Trust me, when your daughter's grown up, and still loves to spend time with you, you're better off than me and most in my situation.Taurean Watkinshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16604609379930060667noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6086062096420008519.post-62875581225943916362012-06-14T12:59:53.094-04:002012-06-14T12:59:53.094-04:00Glad you liked it. And I'm really glad so many...Glad you liked it. And I'm really glad so many people are willing to share how they handle parents. It's great to learn what others do. :)Kelly Hashwayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13936313159809041986noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6086062096420008519.post-47997678960399765552012-06-14T12:59:03.543-04:002012-06-14T12:59:03.543-04:00Thanks, Taurean. I appreciate you saying that. Tom...Thanks, Taurean. I appreciate you saying that. Tomorrow I'll be talking more about my parents, who are amazing by the way. But I know that they aren't normal as far as parents are concerned. I wish they were. Every teen should have parents as great as mine. I'm so grateful for them. But again, I know that if I only wrote about parents like mine, I'd lose readers. They wouldn't find it believable, at least not all the time.Kelly Hashwayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13936313159809041986noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6086062096420008519.post-60794413184168018122012-06-14T11:33:11.274-04:002012-06-14T11:33:11.274-04:00My moms and grandmothers are important in my stori...My moms and grandmothers are important in my stories, but I have to admit I've left out the dads. I'll have to make up for that in the future.<br /><br />As to teens relating to parents and visa versa, this time of life is so strange--the teen trying to establish himself as separate, the parent wanting, but not wanting him to do so. It's often a bumpy time for both, so it's great material for writers.<br /><br /><br />Loved the post.cleemckenziehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15456109243453726483noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6086062096420008519.post-66235611385215345092012-06-14T11:32:05.785-04:002012-06-14T11:32:05.785-04:00Kelly, I think this is another reason why YA scare...Kelly, I think this is another reason why YA scares me, and felt like the most offbeat teen in existence when I was one, I mean seriously, how many teens did you know who was obsessed with animal fantasy and still watched the little kid shows on PBS, and didn't watch an R-rated movie until he was 18, and had no interest in much of pop culture stuff, and even now, I feel like finding like minded people my age is a pipe dream.<br /><br />Anyway, getting back on topic, you know, in my last novel, the MC's parents are in it, but I tried not to include more than was necessary, and I do think in that respect I succeed.<br /><br />There was a time early on I contemplated taking them out to avoid any inclination that the MC can't stand alone, and I he can, but it was both better for the story, and it challenged me personally as a write to write about non-abusive/absent parents.<br /><br />Because my family is so emotionally detached. devoutly religious on my grandmother's part, and pragmatic to a fault (That's NOT me, which my writer friends learn the hard way, but those who get that and like me anyway), it's harder for me to write involved parents who aren't self-righteous pricks. Remember all the help you had to give me with my MC's mother, I had to struggle with how to portray parents in general, and since most everyone who's read my writing in process are either parents or teachers, or parents/teachers, and Kelly aside, many of them had such a narrow view of the kids they raise and/or teach.<br /><br />Don't even get me started on the gender stereotypes some people refuse to let die...! They should be thankful they didn't have to teach a kid like me, or they might've contemplated retiring in shame... (Okay, I'm being extreme here, but only to prove a point and semi-vent too...)<br /><br />The dads are easier, even though I never knew my father, I know the kind of father I wanted, and what about types of fathers turn me off as a reader or just plain human being, and reserve them for when the story demands a difficult father.<br /><br />Mothers are harder, not just because of my own non-relationship with mine, but also because it's hard for me to write mothers who are close in demeanor or personality to mine or my grandmother, who was my stand-in parent. I'm grateful to grandma because I'd likely have coasting through foster care otherwise, but things between us have become hard, and it's just hard to live with people who are so opposite you in so many ways, which is why I loathe "Apple doesn't fall far from the tree" type sayings because that isn't always true.<br /><br />Just because there's a DNA link, doesn't mean I'm destined to be like my family in every way. Alternatively, adopted kids don't have to be mirror images of their adoptive family or birth parents they never knew. There ARE things that are just unique to US, bad or GOOD. <br /><br />Kelly, even though you've told me you don't feel you can write adult fiction, you CAN write about those cool parents. If you want, I can recommend books I read where you're not going to be "attacked" by readers for it.<br /><br />They frankly gave me hope that are still parents out there who care and are involved, but don't have to be overbearing, paranoid dictators about every, freaking, detail!!!!<br /><br />SIGH...It's taking all I have not to turn this into an in-depth, hard-hitting editorial, long as this comment is. LOL.<br /><br />I sometimes think Barbra Walters had an indirect influence on me, even though I barely follow her, and mostly know her from 20/20, which I haven't really watched since I was 16. <br /><br /><br />As long as the cool parents don't come off as overly lenient or downright irresponsible in every way, you won't have the problem your fearing.<br /><br />Take Care,<br />TaureanTaurean Watkinshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16604609379930060667noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6086062096420008519.post-76878349530159688422012-06-14T10:34:12.269-04:002012-06-14T10:34:12.269-04:00That could be, Donna. It makes sense. With teenage...That could be, Donna. It makes sense. With teenagers, we know the parents are there somewhere (or some guardians) because they aren't really old enough to live on their own, unless they've run away.Kelly Hashwayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13936313159809041986noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6086062096420008519.post-88268496065316274822012-06-14T10:33:23.088-04:002012-06-14T10:33:23.088-04:00Yes, that makes perfect sense. Sorry, I think it w...Yes, that makes perfect sense. Sorry, I think it was my response that was confusing, not yours. LOL. I was in agreement with you. :)Kelly Hashwayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13936313159809041986noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6086062096420008519.post-84527055025403639762012-06-14T10:32:00.946-04:002012-06-14T10:32:00.946-04:00Thanks, Claudine. Your MG kind of sounds like mine...Thanks, Claudine. Your MG kind of sounds like mine, as far as the parents are concerned.Kelly Hashwayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13936313159809041986noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6086062096420008519.post-22727595331196258082012-06-14T10:30:45.159-04:002012-06-14T10:30:45.159-04:00I never thought of this question before. I have t...I never thought of this question before. I have to say, no, in none of my writings do parents play a significant role. But then I don't write YA, so maybe that's the difference.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08311305166391446029noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6086062096420008519.post-59574384654912246452012-06-14T09:54:14.879-04:002012-06-14T09:54:14.879-04:00I do think it's plausible in the storyline - ...I do think it's plausible in the storyline - sorry I wasn't clear-- what I was trying to say, but failed, is I think a large number of the population of teens don't always connect with their parents and it doesn't matter if mom and dad are model parents. The connection has, in my opinion, to do with their social setting, who they choose to hang around with etc., I saw this a lot with my daughter's friends, great family, etc., good student, but child couldn't for whatever reason sit down and talk to their own parents. My point is even if parents are great, there's always a strange period for a teen when they don't feel like they have it all together or know how to articulate the whirlwind of emotional turmoil, stress, angst, going on inside of their heads.. I hope this makes sense.brendahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05480258485472568272noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6086062096420008519.post-45633331371654851922012-06-14T09:38:35.938-04:002012-06-14T09:38:35.938-04:00Mine are usually single parents, or parents (in my...Mine are usually single parents, or parents (in my current MG WIP) whose presence are felt even when they aren't 'physically there' as my MC has to go away. They're definitely significant. Great topic, Kelly!Yanting Guehhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04788603550626277974noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6086062096420008519.post-70497655136258337512012-06-14T08:24:56.864-04:002012-06-14T08:24:56.864-04:00I completely agree with you, Alicia.I completely agree with you, Alicia.Kelly Hashwayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13936313159809041986noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6086062096420008519.post-62179851511303063112012-06-14T08:13:09.561-04:002012-06-14T08:13:09.561-04:00Those are common setups for teen reads, because af...Those are common setups for teen reads, because after all, the MC is the teen :) The parent plays an important role in real life, yes, but I'll think that teens prefer to read more about other teens, with whom they can relate better to! Haha, just speaking for myself.<br /><br />-Alicia<br />bookaworld.wordpress.comAnonymousnoreply@blogger.com